Goodbye 41

Well, what a year that’s been. I’ve gone from living abroad, having a wife, owning my own home, and not needing to work, to being divorced, living in shared accommodation, and I’ve been working from 5 days after I landed back into the country.

It’s been hard.

I’ve lost, or probably a better, more accurate description would be, discarded, almost everything I had. Most through choice, some through circumstance, and some through choice, circumstance , and anger.

And I’ve begun again, not to reinvent me, but to rediscover me.

The things that have hurt me the most, probably shouldn’t have. The realisation that I’d given myself to something that didn’t exist, underlined my ability to judge things poorly. That hurt! And I know, I know, there’s no use crying over spilt beans, but.. gods it’s stained me… but also, I wonder, was my sight so blighted because of all that had gone before? I have to be able to trust me.   I have to, because without that self belief, there really is no point.

So what happens now? Another solar cycle done. I’m 42! The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. If my calculations are correct, and they usually are, I have 44 more work days to work at Amazon (11 weeks)  until they have to offer me a position or release me. That’s not long at all. From there.. I really don’t know what happens actually.

However, I’m hopeful. You never know what’s round the next corner.  But, it’s good to know there will be one soon.


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