Drink Anyone

There are only
a few things these days which really manage to get me to think hard
about the world, and what its coming to. Many’s the time i’ve written
on my old Msn blog about injustices, curiosities, and general things of
that ilk.

I was sat
watching tv t’other day, as is my wont, and the tools on the tele were
discussing the Uk’s alcohol culture. Binge Drinking, etc etc! I got to
thinking! I have, in my time, worked in, or served in, probably close
to 20 bars. Up until recently, when uk laws changed.. you had to finish
buying drinks at 11pm, and be out by twenty past… so then it was home
or a club. What used to happen was simple… people came out with x
amount to spend.. and spent it in the time available, so drinks were
consumed quicker because of restrictions, where as now.. with the laws
relaxed, people don’t have that pressure to "drink up quickly", and so
the £30/40 quid can last several hours more. People drink the same
quantities, just over a longer period, which surely has to be better
all ways round?

However, i then
stumbled across an artical about a teacher being fired for telling kids
Santa isn’t real. That seemed, a little curious, to say the least.
The kids were 9 year olds. Personally it seemed a little odd that someone could loose their job for telling the truth.. and i sat and shook my head.

Then it hit
me.. Santa, (an anagram of Satan incidentally, designed to detract from
the religious aspect.. taking the Christ outta Christmas and all that),
must be the biggest binge drinker in the world!  If you take into
account time zones as he wings round the world with his female (only
females have antlers at Christmas.. so Rudolph is an odd name, perhaps
she’s trans gender?) reigndeers pulling him along, and a world
population of 6,525,170,264, which, if we divide that by 4 to
accommodate the average household, gives us 1,631,292,566 houses to
visit, all of which traditionally leave out a glass of sherry… spread
out across the
39 time zones.. well… you can see where i’m going (which is more than what Mr Claus can after 2 mins of pressie dropping).

So… its
hardly surprising the youth of today tends to drink a little, and make
merry, although, in fairness, according to the gospels and the guy
Christmas is supposed to be about, Jesus conjured 180 gallons of wine
(thats 1440 pints!!) at a marriage, thats AFTER all the wine which was
prepared beforehand had been drunk.. not just a 175ml measure per
person I’ll wager!

So… simply ban Christmas, and all will become right with the world!

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