date is set. 3rd of April. Nice. I suppose then its done. Not dealing
with it very well at all. Some kinda flu thing not helping. Really dont
know quite what im going to do. The very idea that she could kill a
child which was planned… infact tried for to excess, so casually, and
without any regard for my input, is beyond my comprehension. Cant begin
to put in words how i feel, besideshugely wronged, by both her and a
system which doesnt allow me to even have a voice. I’ve seen no doctor
with her, the first time she went to see someone she took her
engagement ring off specifically so as to give the impression that she
was single. Somewhere along the line i’m sure i sho8ld have some kind
of counciling. She’s hapy to kill this child. To just remove it. I’m
not! Surely that merits some form consideration. For her to decide, she
can take responsibility and ergo have some form of way of dealing with
this. Me… I have a child i want ripped away from me without so much
as a by your leave. And all im left with is a sense of helplessness. If
i had something tangeable, something i could actually use to justify
this… perhaps i could come to terms with it. But theres nothing.
Seems all the talk of families and marriage were just pretty words.
That sort of thing should not be so easilly dismissed unless it was
never meant in the first place. And not for the first time i’ve found
myself left with nothing after having given all i had to give to secure
a future. I hate feeling stupid because im not! Yet now i find myself
looking back and the only way i can see how any of this makes sense is
if i have been fed rubbish and lies from the start.

Anyway… work
beckons.. so i should fly. But before i do.. couple of pics of Jack to
be added. He’s growing so much. Looks like his mum!

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