Read this and
chuckled. "Pain doesn’t hurt when its all you’ve ever felt." I suppose
thats true. If you’ve lived with something for so long that it becomes
the norm, then anything different becomes alien, rather than that which
you are used to.

Mind.. rocks and islands dont feel pain anyway, but its always nice to be able to understand others points of reference.

Had the
opportunity to go out with a few of "my mates" over the last week or
so, but none of them seem to be able to make time. Curious that, how,
even after all this time I think of them. I suppose i want to see them
as good people. After all this time of them not making an effort to
come see me, as soon as i get the chance, im prepared to put myself out
to see them.

Simon n Garfunk
drifts through the air… "I have no need of friendship.. friendship
causes pain…". Funny how lyrics to songs can be so on the nail for
some situations. Thats not to say i don’t value the people i’ve called
my friends. I do. But, just like with my father dying…  life
will go on for me before i meet new ones, while i’m with current ones,
and after i’ve shaken the sand off my shoes n moved on from my old
ones, and i’ll remember them all, but never need them emotionally now
that i am at a point n my life where i know i can trust myself with
myself. It wont stop me wanting people… but i shall always be aware
that i do not actually need them to survive.

Which, in
theory, should say to the people i do still call friends, that i do so
because i want them to be my friends. Not some irrational emotion
driven need. So its a compliment.. albeit a complicated one lol!

Besides which.. "everyone i know, goes away, in the end"


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