History Lesson

One of the more interesting stories to have come out of the last few days is the idea that i went to Oz in the february of 03, not because mother gave me an ultimatum of “Find somewhere else to live by the weekend, or get on the first available flight to oz… dad will help you with the plane fare”, but rather, that i wouldnt wait to go. Quite exactly what this means is beyond me, except that it is obviously designed to make it look like i took dads cash n buggered off without a thought to what happened next.
I’m a tad unhappy about this. And, to make matters worse, i find out on top of this, that Su had been out and bought the ticket to Oz for the dates in march which Glenda and I had arranged, without my knowledge, which would have coincided with my plans and my financial situation, as well as obviously saving me my airfare. Lets break this down so it’s simple to understand.
I was working a good job, and it was the end of January. I sat with mother a few days before all this, and rang up a ticket agent to confirm availability of flights to Oz in March, for the sum of £489. I then explained to her that i would leave at the beginning of March, and the way which i would afford to go was simple. Out of  my end of January payday (monthly pay) I would pay our rent etc, and then buy the ticket for a March departure at the price of £489. I would then hand in my work notice, and work overtime of 3 hours extra a day (12 hour shifts instead of 9) for the remainder of my time there, thus accruing 60 hours of overtime on a 5 day (15hours) x 4 week month basis. This in turn would leave me with a full months wages + 60 hours overtime (minimum) to take with me to Oz, as i had paid all my bills in advance. The overtime was calculated 2 weeks behind, and 2 in front, so in actuality i began the overtime to be accrued 2weeks before the end of January.
On the wednesday of that final week, knowing that i’d already worked 15 hours overtime (plus the saturday@double time so I could have Monday/Tuesday off), and fully aware of my plan to leave at the beginning of march, she arranged that dad would come round, and together they informed me that i was either to be out of the house by the weekend, or dad would help me with the airfare to the tune of £500 and i would get the first available flight out!! I had no bank account, no where to go, could see my chance of getting over to be wth my son disappearing, so after asking Glenda, (and asking for time off work due to enforced homelessness), i took dad up on his offer.
This meant booking a flight under short notice, which made the cost £800 plus fares to the airport, which in turn meant i had to add the £300 plus fares to dads money. It meant i breached my contract at my place of work, and lost all of my overtime plus the months wages owed. It meant turning up at Glenda’s, not with roughly £2000, but £200.
Ok.. time for another breakdown. Mothers actions cost :
              Su   :  £500 for a ticket which was never used
             Dad :  £500 contribution to my air fare
             Me   :  £360 air fare  travel expenses
                       £1100 Months Wages
                         £600 aproximate overtime  due
    Totaling : £3160
Even more annoying, is the story about me not waiting means that, had Su been told the truth, she could have contacted me, i could have used the money i put to the flights to instead have stayed at a Bed n Breakfast, used Su’s ticket to get to Oz, and infact arrive there with MORE than if i’d have stayed at mothers for the last month! So Yeah…. of course i “wouldn’t wait”. Nowt to do with mum n dad at all.
Actually most of this is detailed HERE as i began creating a page for Jack to explain when he was older why i was not about when he was young, but as i know this is getting over 50 hits a day by various family members i thought i would reiterate it, not to demonstrate quite how cold and calculated mother was in her distruction of my plans, (perish the thought), but to perhaps maybe explain to people who may wonder why i harbour such a grudge, that my reasons are quite valid.

As it happens, this whole scenario has helped me enormously with regards dads death, as when i walked away on that monday to get on a plane, i said goodbye in the knowledge that this was the last time i would see him alive, (which turned out to be correct, save one brief encounter). My goodbye was final. Were i to have still been in Oz with Glenda as a happy family i would still no doubt want to go to the funeral, and the same still goes. In a way i’ve been lucky. I’ve had since that day to prepare for the one which is coming.

My ability to see good, even in something which is rotten to the core, sometimes amazes even me, which serves to reminds me again how lucky i am, to be me

2 thoughts on “History Lesson

  1. Moonshadey-Lynne

    dUDE yA NEED A HUG :} btw you look amazing in the pic of you with long hair an no face fungus (ikkle ego boost for ya lol)Hope everything works out for you…

  2. Unknown

    Just a little correction or two.Neither Paul nor I can actually remember if we paid for your ticket or not or in fact if we were reimbursed had we done. This may sound odd as it is such a big figure but that IS how it is.Either way the ticket was available and BOTH parents knew about that much. Our buying (or being prepared to buy) your ticket was not about you. It was not to do with assisting you but moreover making life easier for Mother who appeared to be at breaking point (rightly or wrongly). I was told that Dad paid for or towards your ticket but I think this was on the day you went. Again we are neither of us sure on the timing but believe it was the day you left. The financial implications we were not aware of. This was not the first time Paul and I had tried to do something and found efforts/offers/expenses etc. ignored/dismissed/deemed inappropriate or simply "guzzumped". That\’s Life!


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