I was on a forum a few days ago and an open question was put asking what our top ten dislikes/annoyances were. I struggled to get 10 serious points but fortunately i was able to add a couple of ones with a little bit of humour and reference to the sort of forum it was. A serious list.. well i say serious, tis not serious as in "these things make me want to eat babies" but more of a "you carry on and you'll get my infamous look of disdain" kinda way, follows 1: Smoking 2: Chewing Gum 3: Being called "Babe"! (Oink!) 4: Understanding why if heat cannot traverse through a vacuum, then how can the sun heat the earth 5: People not understanding that what's right for them, isn't always whats right for me, and then judging/reacting accordingly 6: People not listening to whats said, but hearing what they think they hear, and then wondering why they got it wrong. 7: Questions people ask, like when you say "I can't think of his name", someone says... "Who?"... aaaaarrrg!! 8: Differentiation by religion, race, or creed. 9: People who eat eggs within 20 feet of me! 10: 900 cable channels, all repeats or ropey old pap! When you look at that list, none of the problems are really life threatening. I think this list shows how placid a person i am. Yet only a few days ago i could feel myself getting angry at kids aged 9/10/11is outside at 10pm playing ball near to the house windows. Strange how some things rag me up! I guess my head was saying as far as im concerned the kids should have been in bed long before 10pm, let alone being out on the street playing ball. But... they weren't my kids... the windows here arent mine... so why get angry? lol I get miffed here sometimes. So much of what goes on here, the way which Ju is, how she runs her life, just isn't how i would do it. Couples compromise... but we are not a couple. Its her house, her kids, her life, and im here just through her kindness. I guess it smarts that yes, i may well have an influence here, but its not through my actions here, my decisions, its through people observing me. I make no decisions. Nor should I. Its not my place. But, I know that i have no right to judge how life here goes on. What i should do is just acknowledge that is not my way, understand its not for me to attempt to change it, its not for me to say its wrong full stop, cos for others it may not be.... but accept that it is wrong for who i am. When i leave i will expect no-one to tell me how to run my life. But then, i guess i'll not have someone living with me watching every decision i make. I suppose that's the thing. I am the one that has to live with all the decisions i make. Same as Ju is with hers.... mum with hers.... Glenda with hers etc etc. Currently though, i live with the decisions everyone else makes, without being able to do anything about it. I hate being ineffectual. Especially when it comes to my own life. Hopefully when my money comes i can alter this, and take responsibility for me once again. And then... who knows. There are so many things which, with me not being responsible for me, i cannot do at the moment. What if's do no-one any good, but that doesn't stop me wondering all the same.