dad

Would appear he has cancer of the pancreas, and wont see his next birthday in July. Iain in New Z told me. Not really his place to be breaking that kinda news to me. Im betting him being that distance away isnt helping him deal! Hamish will also be screwed up. All the denial/it’ll be ok/ostritch syndrome he so loves has just gone out the window.

A point of humour in all this… dad n mum are remarrying. Classic. Years of "Im NOT a Wiseman", hating the name, returning post with her married name on etc. All the grief of the split. Photos burnt etc. All pointless. I guess the "Abomination" which mum commited by having a "marriage blessed" which acording to her own beliefs was "against God" has also gone out of the window. Maybe the catholic in her has finally given up the ghost? I suppose if its what they want mine nor anyones opinion matters, so in that respect i cant fault them. from a personal point of view i can only stand n shake my head. All those years of hate and bitterness. Not that most of the family saw it. They’d left. Hamish saw bits. Su others. I was there throughout.

Up til silly oclock talking to Iain. Tis funny how people within the family speak to me still. I wonder if they are guarded cos they think im volitile, or that they cant get past the idea that im no longer 12. None of them know me.

Throat hurts. I blame Shell! Bloody stupid tip toes in her urge to get on my shoulder set fire to her own tail on a candle. Fortunately i saw n put it out or a burning cat was about to land on my back. She didnt even notice! lol Stupid cat!

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