So, it’s been well over half a year since I added anything of meaning here. I suppose I should change that.
First things first. I’m still alive and well and living in Droitwich! Oh wait no, that’s Kate/Bob’s mother. I’m back in sunny Wolves.
Staying with Heidi became untenable for me. I can’t recall if it was 4 or 5 times she was hospitalised while I was there. I do know that the 999 call I had to make for her was only the second time in my life I’ve wondered if I was going to see someone die in front of me. Her life is her own, and I cannot tell her how to live it, nor will I, but I will not enable it either. I swore I’d never speak to her mother again, and broke that vow in order to tell my sister that, in my opinion, she should set aside money so that at any one time she can get on a plane from Sweden, because in my opinion, I’m not certain H will survive the next 12 months if she continues as she is. I love my niece, her heart is massive, and given everything which she’s been through, I have nothing but respect for her. She looked after me when no-one else would. She’s so busy looking after everyone else that she won’t look after herself. She will not see it, but this was me looking after her the only way I knew how.
So, I landed back in Wolves last month. Work at Amazon up in Manchester was actually quite doable. I’d been a problem solver from the first week and my skills on the computer made me something of a go-to person for people all over the warehouse, inc managers, ops managers and pretty much everyone who needed info or a computer problem fixed. I had my moments though of course… and so i quit on Valentines Day due to the stupidity of other around me. Two weeks passed and I received a call asking why wasn’t I in work. Another 2 weeks of phone calls resulted in a return back the week before my birthday in order to have a meeting about my issues. In truth nothing actually changed. But, with no disciplinary either for my month off, I basically took the equivalent of a sabbatical! I was, frankly, lucky, and returned as if nothing had happened.
However, the situation at home, meant I had to leave my job as I needed accommodation. The fact that nothing changed at work probably made this an easier decision. The long days had taken their toll. Up at 4am and not returning until gone 8pm.. i’m no longer 23. A friend said I could come stay with her until I can sort my own flat/bedsit. So, I got on a train and back in Wolves I find myself.
The Giff as ever has been a source of both solace and strength for me. I care little if I speak to anyone there, I go for the music. I’m comfortable there. No-one asks anything from me, and vice versa. I’m both anonymous and known. There are people there I can talk to if I want to, and there are people there who would miss my presence at the end of the bar whose name I would not know, nor they mine.
And so there comes the only really good piece of fortune to spring from all this. Amazon, wondering where I was again, called. I explained to them that I was no longer able to get to Manchester to work and was expecting the standard “Ok, thank you for working for us, where do we send your P45?”. Instead the young lady inquired “So, what would be your bast case scenario then now? Is there anything we can help you with?” So, I said where I was, and explained I’d done nearly a year in the Rugeley Amazon before moving to the Manchester depo, and ideally as I’d need a job here, maybe I could return to them? “Give me some time to make some calls.”, she said. Half an hour later : You start Monday!
So, currently I’m still attempting to sort accom, and am plonked at Jo’s, whom I owe a massive debt of gratitude to. I’m hoping a passport might at least go some way to saying thank you! Accompanying me to the Arsenal game in London might also have awoken something? A convert perhaps?
Anyway, I’m alive. I know I’ve neglected this, and it’s possible that I might continue to do so after this. There’s a part of me that wonders if it’s because it’s Esther’s birthday that I’ve chosen to post today. I don’t know. No matter. It’s done. So… to finish… a pic. After the thrashing handed (Wenger)out by Liverpool I probably shouldn’t be celebrating anything Arsenal related but.. it was a good day away from everything..